I don't know why but sometimes I don't think that I'm a very good person. Actually, when I think about it I'm just not living a simple life. I was just watching Forest Gump and it's the picture of a simple man who lives a simple life. For some strange reason because he's so simple and so singular in his purpouses this makes him seem like a good man living a simple life. I think I feel this way sometimes because my life seems complicated to me. My life is probbably complicated because I make it that way. What I need is more singularity and less complication. No, that's wrong. I need more focus. Life isn't complicated. It's like a those little glass balls with facets all over it. When a single shaft of light hits the ball it shoots out all over the place. Not only that, but it's intensity is broken down. I need to loose the ball. Part of the reason I'm losing focus is because the things that are important in my life aren't always the things that are the most "fun" for me. But that's not the reason either. Self control and discipline. I'm struggling with these two things right now. I also recognize that I'm struggling with these things which means I'm not going to stay the way I am. That's just how I am. At the same time God is in the midst of it all. He sees me wake up, flop about my day and finally lay my head down to sleep. I can't do it all on my own. I can't change as much as I want to just by me wanting to. There's the element in my life that requires divine intervention. I'll see where I am a year from now. Danielle left on Wednesday. When she was here it was the best two weeks of my life. I love that girl. There are so many things about her that I love. I know that when I get sick she'll take care of me. When I'm weak she'll make me feel strong. When I'm tired she'll help my lie my head down. She treats me better than anyone I know. When she was here we cooked together, went to work together, we had a good 'ol time. The next time I see her we'll be getting married. I'll be coming out to California around April 13 and we'll get married on the 16th. We'll move into an apartment for a little while then look for a condo.