We got him. But will the attacks on our troops and the Iraqi people ease up?

Well, our 1 hour Christmas show is done. Thank GOD. This particular show has taken up my time and well being for the past few months. Towards the end I edited for about three of four days straight. A piece of my elbow even got a rugburn type thing from sitting and editing for so long. But ya know what? I love it. Althought it's been tough this Christmas special will be such a blessing to people who watch it. We really did an awesome thing. I'll see if I can get it on the internet somehow. Christmas is coming soon! Which means people ask for things. I'd like to have a Cannon Rebel or some kind of SLR digital camera. That would be sweet sauce. My dilema is that I make just about 0 dollars. So.. I'm going to have to get very creative this Christmas. I feel bad because I want to buy something for all the people I love. Now that I think about it.. I think I'm going to be the lamest gift giver this year. People say it's enough just ot have me back home or whatever, but I'm the kind of guy that likes to give. Well.. God will take care of all of that.

Today I was the papparazzi! I went to the "Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King" red carpet premiere! Sally interviewed people and I shot! All of the stars were there. It was so awesome. The best part for me was seeing all of the different cameras that people used, and of course I saw ROBIN WILLIAMS! Sally asked him a few questions and he was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!! AHH! Good times. Hopefully, I'll do some more premieres soon. -BRiAN

I got hit on tonight! I was at the 7-11 with Billy (an editor here at Action House). I had gotten my drink, really unhealthy food and was waiting for the guy to finish with Billy's order. In the mean time this girl had come up behind me and was waiting for check out too. When it was my turn I looked at the guy and simply said "I'd like to buy these, please." A few seconds went buy and the girl behind me said "Did you just say you want to buy those?" with a smile on her face. "Yeah" I said smiling back. A few more seconds pass and she says smiling again, "I wasn't making fun of you, I just thought that was funny." I look up at her and say with deep (fake) hurt in my eyes "It's ok, I'm used to it." She smiles again. "Have you ever heard of Rebecca St. James?" I ask. "No" she says. "Oh.. well you look just lik her." I say, and she DID! Man! Rebecca St. James is SO HOT!! ARGH! I finish paying for my food and start to go out the door. "Who's Rebecca St. James" I hear over my shoulder. I turn around and continue backing out of the 7-11. "She's a Christian recording artist, check her out you might like her music." I drop my Snickers pick it up, like an idiot. The door shuts and I get in my car and drive back to the Dream Center. Now that I sit here.. I want to beat my head on the desk in front of me seven hundred and eleven times. She thought I was neat-o. AGH! So stupid!! Maybe I'll see her again. -BRiAN

Thanksgiving. What an good time. Here's the thing though, I don't really enjoy the whole "hang with the relatives" thing. I've never been one to go out of my way to visit relatives for some reason. It's not that I don't love them, I just don't have any connection there, besides blood. All that being said, the holiday season is bitter sweet for me. On the other hand, I do enjoy spending time with my immediate family IMMENSELY! Christmas is, of course, my favorite of all the holidays. The first reason being that it reminds me that my savior came into the world as a weak, tiny baby. The second reason is that it's my BIRTHDAY! YAY! Who knows what awesome presents lie in store. I do know, for now at least, I have to get this Christmas special done. For anyone who is interested here is the opening I created (WARNING: This file is intended to stream at broadband speed). You need Quicktime to view it. If you don't have it.. then.. get it at http://www.apple.com -BRiAN

Ok, raise your hand if you know who's going to be at he red carpet premiere of the new "Lord Of The Rings"? Anyone? Yes Timmy? "David?" No! *shoots Timmy* I am! That's right! I'm going to be a the red carpet with Sally! WOO! More to come. Also, I met Andy Dick. Cool. -BRiAN

What an eventful day! Action House is moving myself, Billy, and possibly Pastor Manny into apartments not more than 5 minutes away from the Dream Center. We'll be staying in a 3 bedroom apartment. But, to get the ball rolling, we had to got to the "Villa Mariposia" (the apartment complex) to tour and fill out an application. It's not an ordinary apartment building. It's low income housing. Don't get me wrong, the apartments are really nice. They have a fully kitchen with stove, microwave, refrig etc. The catch is that while you are staying in the complex you have to goto meetings on money management and meet with a "case worker" every three or so months. Now, the case worker isn't a social worker, they are just supposed to meet with you and ask you about your goals to help you achieve them. It is, more or less, a complex for people who want to get back on their feet. It's not dangerous, however. They do have an application process which includes a background check, credit check and interview. It has a security guard and you can not just walk in the front door, you must be let in by the person you are visiting. Anyway, it's cool. We arrived at the apartments at 8:00 am sharp. We didn't get in however until around 9. So, we stood in the freezing morning weather for about an hour. The good news is that we got an interview that same day. More good news is that the guy who interviewed us used to be a pastor and the other people who interviewed us have heard of the Dream Center. Enough of that. My dad has been kind enough to buy me two concert tickets to see SIMON AND GARFUNKLE AT THE STAPLES CENTER!! AHHHH! I'm going to explode! I'm going this Tuesday with my friend Justin from back home. It was a really unexpected and awesome surprise. Thanks Dad. Tonight we had another Tao know Do class. I've been doing them for almost a month now. One of the interns here is a black belt and has agreed to give us lessons. There are on average around six to seven people in the class. My right hip muscle is starting to... Well hurt. After doing a seven kick combination you start to get a little sore. So, I took a nice hot bath after class tonight and feel much better. Is it bad that my leg twitches uncontrollably when I put weight on it? Oh well. -BRiAN

This last week has be glorious chaos. Action House produced a concert. His names is Marcos Witt. He's like the Michael W. Smith of latin music. We sold out the stadium for the show, which means there were about 15,000 people there. My job was to shoot the behind the scenes footage for the DVD Action House will be producing. This consisted of my running around for about three days with a video camera. I'd follow Marcos here, there, and everywhere. Good times. But now, I have a new project for the month. Billy and I will be producing the script I wrote. I'll be directing and Billy will be producing. All I have to do is make some finishing touches on the script. After that, we shoot it and submit it to film festivals YAY! The T.V. show fell a little behind because of the Marcos Witt concert. So, we'll be airing a re-run.

I've been at Action House for about a week now and I'm ready for a break :). So much responsibility. I really don't want to leave, but stuff has been kind of tough. I've been thrown onto projects that are half done or just broken. So, working on an episode if a TV show that hasn't been completed makes it twice as hard. Mostly because you haven't been the one working on it all the time so you don't know what's done and what needs to be done. Action House did an illustrated sermon last Sunday. It was AMAZING. Hopefully when we get the footage I'll be able to post it here. I ran spotlight for it. I'm overseeing everything to do with the show. Whic means that I direct the shoots, oversee the editing of the footage and finalize everything. It also means that I'm responisble of if a show goes out with a mistake, which is alright with me. I love doin this stuff. I also fix all the computer problems. After dealing with the inital chaos and tiny stuff for about a week it's become more manageable. God is amazing. And I read something the other day in my Bible about if you are thrown down upon the rock of God you shatter, but if the rock of God comes upon you then you are crushed. It's and awesome thought that we can be broken by throwing ourselves upon the rock of God. I pray that God allow my "self" to be broken upon him. I pray that I am not crushed. -BRiAN

Pastor Manny e-mailed me something today. I'd like to share it with you because it's powerfull. From Pastor Manny: If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. (II Chronicles 7:10) My people…Called by his name: Remember you are his even in your worst failure, and in your most difficult struggle he will not disown you. Don’t give up instead look up. Humble themselves: Some changes will not happen unless you fast. Especially in areas where the enemy has established a stronghold in our lives like a bad habit, a bad temper, a depressed spirit, or even in actions or words we know are not appropriate. Fast a meal once a week, or once a month fast a morning or an evening spending the meal times in prayer. Pray: Time with God involves listening to his word, trusting yourself to him, obeying his Spirit, and blessing God, those around you, and be a blessing to yourself. Time with God will result in raising your valleys. Seek my face: Getting God’s attention is so much better than God getting our attention. He will meet us and address areas of concern. He meets us not to condemn but to bring a change of heart. Turn from their wicked ways: When your heart begins to turn back, you know you have God’s attention and he is addressing the area of concern. Repentance is a gift that God gives to a broken and contrite heart. Not Oops I got caught! But God I caused pain to you, to others and to myself and I don’t want to cause this pain anymore. Then I will hear from heaven: God does answer the penitent heart. A person that acknowledges their need to change God will answer. I will forgive their sin: Our “sin” nature is to ignore God, not trust him with our issues, and not invite him to be with us, and the result is we do cause pain instead of blessing. The good news is that in Jesus and him crucified there is forgiveness available. We do not have to remain bound in that prison of pain. He sets us free. I will heal their land: God’s healing has to do with wholeness and integrity. The land receives the rain, the soil produces the grain, the grain multiplies and there is a great harvest. Abundance, joy, health, is a product of God’s blessing. God’s blessings should result in holiness: Choosing to serve God with joy.

I just got off the phone with Barbara at Brooks. She said that she was "not happy" and I'll "probbably never have another chance to get into Brooks." and although that sounds terrible, I feel really good about it. I'm at Action House now working on projects and feeling good about where I am. I can't wait to see what God does now.

I'm not going to Brooks. I'm staying in L.A.

... I'm in L.A., it's cool.

On my way to adventure!
... refrence pic

After I post this, I am going to go out and throw away crap that has been in my shed for over a year. I should just light the thing on fire, but Jeff wouldn't like that. Then, I pack up my clothes. THEN I pack up my three pieces of furniture. I move out either tonight or tomorrow afternoon. *sigh* -BRiAN P.S. Thanks for the kind e-mail, Sonia. Comment sometime and lemme know you're here ;)

I move out Wednesday. I see my landlord tomorrow. I'm gone on the 13th.

The last showing of "Funny Girl" was last night. Funny Girl has been by far the best show I have been involved with. In the cast of thirty or so, there were maybe two people that were mildy annoying. Other than that, awesome cast. So, here's the plan. I leave Atascadero the 13th, arrive in L.A. do God knows what (literally) there. Move into my apartment the 28th, orientation starts the 31st and classes start on the 3rd. I'm all setup with a 14 FREAKING PERCENT interest rate for my $31,000 a YEAR LOAN! AHH! It's ok, this is what I want to do. It's so what I want to do that I'm moving out on Wednesday. Maybe I didn't hear me, I'm MOVING OUT ON WEDNESDAY. Like, back with my mom. Only for a few days, though. -BRiAN

YAY!

Oh, it's OOOOON BABY! I just got an e-mail from Action House saying it "looks good" for October 13th - 27th. YAY! Now to pack, move out, get my deposit, clear everything up blah blah. Let's rock and roll! October was either going to be a very SLOOOOW month or a fast month. Looks like things are on the fast lane. -BRiAN

With the way things are looking now, it seems I'm going to be off to L.A. instead of Peru. The people in Peru just aren't keeping up with my correspondance. I'm in the process of sending e-mails back and forth with the Action House headquarters in Los Angeles. It looks like I may spend Oct 13th - 27th with them. We'll see. -BRiAN

Tonight, I saw "Once Upon A Time In Mexico". Instead of thinking about seeing this movie consider seeing "Once Upon A Time On The Way Back Home" also known as OUATOTWBH. There were two memorable scenes, the motorcycle chase (which was mediocre at best) and everything with Selma Hyak. I'm too tired to tear this movie apart. I'll do it later. Don't see this movie.

This is my new wishlist thingy. They use Mac at Brooks. Having a Mac would be good. I hate Mac. I am an enigma, love me.

I have a new e-mail address! It's brianlikesfilm@hotmail.com. Enjoy! Wait.. can you enjoy that? Can you? Whatever.

Time is starting to run out. My last day at work currently is October 4th and I still haven't heard anything about Peru as far as starting and ending dates go. So, I'm a little bit nervous about how things are going to work out. If I don't end up going to Peru until later in October I'll have to figure out what to do about moving out and working etc. If I don't go at all, I have to figure out what to do all of October, which is really no big deal. I just don't like being anxious and sending e-mails back and forth etc. -BRiAN

So, I have a wishlist for school. I shopped around and it's the best price for this stuff. If you want to buy any of these things, feel free. Please feel free. In fact, feel really free. My Wish List

I'm back from Ventura. Oh man what an awesome time. I followed my Dad as we drove down, walkie talkies are too much fun. When I arrived at Brooks I was a good 1 1/2 early, so my Dad and I snooped around the campus. There's a back lot (which is a bunch of fake buildings used for filming), two sound stages (really big empty warehouse to build things in for for filming), an editing suite with tons of computers, classrooms, a cafeteria, and just tons of good times. We went on a tour and had already seen everything the tour guide showed us because we were snooping earlier. But, it did afford me a great opportunity to ask him some questions about the school.
I met with Barbara finally. She's the nice lady who's been walking me through the enrollment process. It was nice talking with her and putting a face with a voice. I also ended up meeting with Bernice in financial aid. The whole financial aid process is a scary one for me because I really don't know much about it. But Bernice walked me through all of it and even got me some extra money. The really good news is I'm all set for going to Brooks. That means tuition, housing, car payments etc.. the bad news is that the interest rate on one of my loans is 14.125%. Yikes! It's ok though, I'm willing to do what I need to do.
I stayed with Nate and his roommates. Nate is about half way through the 3 year time at Brooks. He's the top student of his class and I really look up to him, so it was nice to hang with him for a while. After he got out of class we hooked up and went over to edit a film he's working on. In the midst of editing a ton of people came through to talk with him about various projects. Listening to them gave me an opportunity to get a feel for student life. There are tons of politics involved with the school. They vote on scripts, directors, producers etc later into the school year to work on projects. The bottom line I found it is, don't be a jerk. Which I don't will be a problem because I generally get along with people.
After that we went to Carrows to eat, then Nate's place to sleep. I woke up, got my car jumped (because I left the lights on.. d'oh) and drove home. Good times. I can't express how excited I am to goto Brooks. At the same time I'm anxious because I want to do the best I can. I feel as if I'm not artistic or creative enough sometimes, but I think I'll be ok.
I goto Peru sometime around October 8th and I'll be back sometime around the 28th. I know this because I got an e-mail from the Peru people today. So much exciting stuff. Now, I have to clean all my crap out of the shed and get my clothes washed and ready etc. I hate this part. -BRiAN

I'm going to Ventura tomorrow to visit Brooks. I'll be staying with my buddy Nate. Know what else I'm gonna do?! Wanna know! I do! Ok, I'm going to meet with Barbara, finding out about financial aid, looking at apartments, finding a job etc. So much fun! So much to do. Crazy stuff to do. After I get back, I'll be going to Peru.. soon I think. I haven't heard anything back from the guys at Action House. I'm starting to get worried. We'll see what happens. -BRiAN

    Ok! Ok.. ok ok.. so, here's what happening so far. I called SLMA (Sallie Mae) to find out about a loan. She took all my info (I even told her I have no credit history).. ran the numbers and came back APPROVED!!! I can't believe it! I mean.. geeze!! I seriously have no credit that I know of. This is so unexpected. Although nothing is really concrete yet, this gigantic roadblock is clear for now. Amazing. I don't know what God is doing.. this is so exciting.     And at the same time, I feel like I may be setting myself up for huge dissapointment. Which is not really true when I think about it. One way or another, I like the direction I'm going. If Brooks doesn't work out, I'll be in Peru for a while and how awesome would that be!! I'll update as things happen.. for my own posterty sake at least :). -BRiAN

   A crucial thing happens tomorrow, I'm calling "Sallie Mae" (a government lending organization). If they say I can't get a loan on my own.. no Brooks for me.    And I was thinking, maybe God is using the allure of Brooks to keep me in Peru for a while. And the more I think about it, I'm really ok with that. I'd like to spend some more time with the Action House guys. Weather it would be in Peru, or L.A. I've sent in the application for my passport which should arrive in time. So one way or another I'm going to Peru. Please pray that God would give me wisdom in what to do.    I know that I want to goto Brooks. I know that I want to be involved with film, but I have a feeling that God wants to do some work with me first. And I'm looking forward to that. -BRiAN

I'm going to Brooks. But first, I'm going to Peru. When? WHEN?! AHH. Well, I'm going to be in Peru sometime in the beginning of October. Then, I'll be at Brooks in November. It seems easy, but I have to find my passport first. Actually, I have to get another one (hopefully in time). I have so much to do! Clean up, pack, move etc. The thing is, I have to be ready for Peru AND Brooks before I do either. So, what am I doing while in Peru? From what I've been told by Action House I'll be teaching drama and training digital video techniques. Brooks starts sometime in the beginning of November, so I'll probably be back from Peru in less than a month. I've told work my last day will be October 4th (which is when the play I'm in will end). Right now.. the passport is the big scary thing. We'll see what happens, pray for me. -BRiAN

NEW SONG!!! It's simply called "Today" Lemme know what you think. Listen to it with headphones and hear the cool stereo drums! Turn it up LOUD heh. -BRiAN

So good times. I have a bunch of senior portraits coming up. Which is awesome because they are strating to branch out from the people I know. I love doing senior portraits. I'm really excited about the newest one. The girl is a dancer and I want to dress her up in her ballerina outfit then get shots of her in the middle of a crowd. Cools stuff. I have to thank God for allowing me to have the opprotunity to do this work. -BRiAN

Yay for us! Tonight was opening night for "Funny Girl" good times were had by all. No big errors or strikeouts. Just a good time. I'm going to go play poker at Amber's house now. Wish me luck. Maybe we'll play some video games later. -BRiAN

So, sad times today. Justin called and told me that we have offically stopped production of the "Lackey Movie". I think I'll put together some clips of the stuff we've shot so far just for fun. One day we'll finish it. Until then, good news! We are ressurecting "Santiago's Sketch Comedy Squad"! SSCS was a group we had put together for an outreach night the church did. Good times, awesome sketches. Now, we have some equipment to work with and a much better understanding of how to shoot stuff. Lackey was a steep learning curve. Also, I told myself just yesterday that after Lackey was done I was going to ship off to film school. Well, Lackey is done and now I just have to wait for my play. After my play, I'm going to film school. Unless God wants me somewhere else. -BRiAN

We have MUSIC! I'm very exictied to post the links to three of the songs from our new album that is being mixed. Enjoy and please let me know what you think! You can download the songs here. -BRiAN

Off to rehersal. We start the show on the 4th. WOO!

New word. It's awesome. Deppsauce. Example: "Did you see that sweet new movie?!" "Yeah! It was DeppSauce!" Like... Jonny.. uh.. de.. nevermind.

bees suck. The craziest thing happened a few hours ago. I was in Los Osos with Jessi, Kristie and Andrea. Andrea happens to be a girl I'm doing senior portraits for. So, we walk into the woods to take some pictures and get swarmed by bees!! BEES! I got stung about three or four times. Jessi got stung twice and Kristie about three times. Luckly, no one was really allergic so we were ok. But it sucked. Anyway, that happened and it was terrible. -BRiAN

I put together a quick edit of the "Treasury" scene. These are the first few seconds of the opening. It's not anywhere near complete, and the audio isn't sweetened at all yet. Just a simple music track. Right click on this link and select "save as" then download. Or, just click it and wait for the movie to stream (only if you have broadband, it's pretty big). Enjoy. More to come. -BRiAN

Film Critic

So, something very exciting is going to happen Sunday. I'm going to meet up with Glen Starkey (a local film critic) to do "Split Screen". "Split Screen" is an article in the New Times. Glen, and one other person get together to do a movie review. So, we're going to see the new Jackie Chan movie. I'm stoked, because I love films and have thought about doing artciles on 'em. So, maybe this'll be a stepping stone. Or, just a free movie :). -BRiAN

New "Lackey Movie" frames! OoOO.... spooky. What is it? Watch the movie when it comes out and see! Only.. about.. well, about a year until we're done :D

Rhyme

There such a time in early spring When children dance and old men sing Lovers kiss and lovers meet They lose the time and love the heat The grass between your toes is blown By warm summer wind and thoughts of home -BRiAN -------------------------------------------------------- In the distance an amish man burns His beard aflame, his shoes they melt All that's left is his bible and belt So saddness comes to the Amish that night But that doesn't stop the drunken fight See, Amish are strange in that foul way When beer poured the fists will play What's the moral of this story you ask? Don't be near someone Amish When they have a flask. -BRiAN

adf

If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?

My life up 'til now

My life up 'til now    Jon, the bass player for our band, is back in town. And it's time to rock! Which we did at the block party. Everyone is starting up school again except for ME. I looked into fencing classes... well, I didn't really look into them I just thought about it, but decided not to go for it. Too much going on right now. Every Thursday and Saturday we'll be filming the "Lackey Movie", rehersals are starting up every day for "Funny Girl" and I'm thinking about film school again. I think what I'll do is finish the "Lackey Movie" then go to film school. I think. We'll see.    Relationship status: SINGLE. STILL. It's ok. I've met some nice girls, but it hasn't worked out. What I'm focusing on right now is just not even thinking about a girl I meet in a "future relationship" kind of a way. And it's nice, it definatley helps. -BRiAN

lackey movie frames

Here are some frames from the first scene in the "Lackey Movie". None of these frames are color corrected or anything. Enjoy! 1 2 3 4

quick update

We filmed some more of the Lackey movie yesterday morning. I'm really happy how things came out so far. Although we rushed a bit at the end, I'm really confident this is going to be a decent film. I'll try to post some clips, or at least some stills. Peace out! -BRiAN

if you like cool stuff

You've got to goto Carly's online store. It has cool stuff. ------ Correction, goto the store and buy things.. don't just go there, that's rude.

b to the c to the p in the house

Jeff and I met up with my friend Andrea at Mother's Tavern in SLO. There was a band called Goza there and oh MAN where they good. It's reggae meets Latin grooves. I danced the night away BABY! There is no better exercise then dancing in the middle of a ton of people you don't know. Good times, great oldies. -BRiAN

give it up

I just have to take a minute to give God all the glory. He know's what's up. And although I'm totally lame, God is being so good to me. Even when it seemed like things were bad, God has always been good to me. I'm just waking up and realizing it. -BRiAN

so so so so wrong

No! No no no no NOO! Absolutely NO! This is so wrong. How anyone could think it could be right is so wrong! NO! Oh geeze I am so.. worried about the way things are going. I'm not personally distressed, God is in control, but NO! What's the big problem? this is. ARG!!! God says this and this about homosexuality. I don't hate gays, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with the lifestyle. God loves gay people and Jesus died for gay people, but it doesn't mean it's ok. He died for me too, the worst of sinners. -BRiAN

God of 180's

I met with my pastor this week. After just talking with him for a few hours I felt 100% better. I'm drawing close to my God once again. It's amazing to see how life changes once you submit to God and allow Him to use you. Some people came over last night I got to have an awesome conversation with two of 'em. How humbling that my God would use me after I've messed up so bad. But it's all good. -BRiAN

i've got alot of growing to do

The last week and a half have been very hard for me. I've said some things that I'm sure were stupid. I've used my pain as an excuse to be mad at God and live however I wanted to. After talking with people about what was going on and why I was acting the way I was the words I were saying began to fall back onto my ears. Simply because someone or some people hurt me doesn't mean I can retaliate in my own life. It's not God's fault. I also thought that I didn't need to change anything about myself. That what people thought was "troubling" or "wrong" about me may be right. Just because I don't think something is wrong about myself doesn't mean it isn't. I'll be meeting with my Pastor on Wednesdays to chat and work through some things in my life. I told a friend that "even if I could change, I wouldn't want to." How arrogant is that? So lame.. And I'm still angry. I'm angry that I was essentially stabbed in the back. I'm angry that people presumed things about me. I'm angry that I could just be tossed away after almost eight years of leadership. It's not fair to be upset about something someone does and not tell them. It's wrong for parents or kids to be concerned/offended about something you are doing and not tell you. It's disrespectful to have a meeting about someone without them being there. I'm so angry about being stabbed in the back. -BRiAN

white water rafting

I went white water rafting with my buddies at Players (the resturant I work at). We drove about 4 1/2 hours to Kern county and rafted for over 5 hours. It was AWESOME! A few people were a little nervous, but I've been once before for my senior trip so there was no fear in me!!! There were a total of about 8 or 9 class 4 rapids. Class 4's aren't so bad, but they're enough to tip someone out of the boat or flip it. Neither happened to me. Although, on the first rapid four out of our seven passengers (including the guide) took a swim in the middle of the rapid. We started barreling for a huge boulder jetting out of the water, bumped harmlessly into it and picked up our passengers. The weather was amazing. It was overcast, but the wind was really warm and the water was just perfect. You could take a quick float down the river while waiting for a rapid, get back in the boat and be dry in a few minutes. There were a few rapids that got me nervous, but the last one was the best. It's called "pinball". They call it pinball because there are about six rocks throughout the rapid so you have to manuver through the beast. We only got a few feet into it when our boat slammed up against a rock and started sinking. We quickly clammered up to the side of the raft that was above the water and and stopped it from sinking under. The boat was in such a position that one side was pinned against the rock. To the front of us was a drop off into another rock just a few feet away, and it would be impossible to row it backwards. If we leaned too far to the left the boat would sink, so we were stuck on the right hand side. Finally, our guide said, "Ok, everyone to the front of the boat" I paused. I said, "There is NO way I am getting into the front of this boat!" because what lay in front of us was just a big hole for the boat to go face first into. But, into the front we went. The boat lurched forward into the swirling water as we clammered back into our positions. The guide immedtly started shouting out directions and we flew through that rapid like nobodys business! We ROCKED that thing! Man, what a blast! -BRiAN

so much.. joy

made me laugh

I just read a title on MSNBC that read: "President defends intelligence team" That's just... stupid.

houstin, we have an update

I saw "League of Extrodinary Gentlemen" tonight. I warn you, don't do what I did. I felt like at times the writer was like "Oh man! I have to fit in background for the characters!" Then, pinned a timeline of the film to a wall and threw darts to decided where that character history should go. Anyway, I didn't like it. Also, we start filming "The Lackey Movie" Thursday! We shoot the hero training flashback and the opening scene. Yay us! I'll be talking about the movie, but not giving stuff away. We have a cast, locations, equipment, and plenty of things to go wrong. I can't wait to start shooting this, seriously.

go me!!!

I like football. I'm not competitive, but I like football.

tired

I worked today, but I'm tired. I've been working alot latley. Serving in the morning then hosting at night. My feet hurt. Praise God Dad gave me his old foot massager. We finished recording! YAY. Time to master 'em off. I'm tired.

Anyone wanna come with me?

another quick update: I really wanted to goto Jessi's house to watch movies with buddies.. but we were in the studio last night, so I couldn't. It made me sad. Next time, though :).

quick quick quick update:
We recorded five songs last night. WOO! I'll post 'em when they're mastered.

Jeff and I have found something fun to do on Friday nights in little 'ol Atascadero. Of all places, the bowling alley has some live bands on Friday. And they rock! We played pool, danced around and had a really freakin' good time! Friday nights, here I come!

Today I had sushi with my sister. The california rolls were awesome. The fried vegtables were great. The actual raw fish was not so hot. I just didn't like the texture. My sister also said the coolest thing.

"Don't eat it so fast! If you do, it'll be gone!"

Go ahead, read it twice.
-BRiAN

I can not stress how incredibly awesome this link is..

I've decided to hold of on film school, takes classes at cuesta and focus on the band.

yo, jimmy, hand me that steel pipe

    So Brooks had their "strong arms" call me today. They wanted to let me know basically that they were pissed I haven't turned in my application and deposit. First of all, I KNOW I haven't done those things. Secondly, I am under no obligation to do them and thirdly after I hung up I turned in my application and deposit. Here's why (and why not). I hadn't turned anything in because I wasn't sure I'm going to go. I figure, what's the point of filling out all that paperwork if I don't go?! Then having to go through the hassle or having my deposit refunded. Plus, I'll probably forget about the deposit and then not be able to get it back. Anyway, it's done now. I'm waiting to hear back about my FAFSA. I hope I didn't do something wrong and I have to go through the FAFSA process again, because it was really lame.

    Tomorrow is Jessi's graduation! I'm finishing up the video right now. I wish I was asleep because I have to be at the church they are having the graduation at so I can test out the video etc etc.. I'm really happy Jessi is graduating. I only remember my graduation because my Dad taped it. To be honest, I didn't really care I was graduating. But I do remember one thing. I was home schooled through a Christian home schooling group. These guys were terrible. I mean, there were a few families that were in touch with reality and the current times, but some families had no idea what really happens in the world. Let me explain. The group I was in was very legalistic. Girls had to wear dresses, guys button up shirts etc. I have tons of stories I could tell, but I think I've made it semi-clear. For graduation I wanted to do something really.. lets say special. For my short time with the group, I had become really pissed off with most of the people in there and I wanted to pretty much thumb my nose at everyone as I left. I eventually realized this was a really wrong thing to do, so I just ended up wanting to do something that I could remember at graduation. So graduation day comes. All the families are all in their seats and we're lined up in the back.

"Hey, you guys.. I have an idea."
"Oh, no Brian.. don't be messing up the whole graduation."
"No, really this would be awesome.. lets throw our hats in the air as we leave down the middle isle."

A few faces brighten, a few faces scowl, I can actually ear someone gasp.

"Are you nuts?! We'll get so busted!"
"Whatever.. I'm throwing my stupid hat.. if anyone else wants to go for it."

And man, I was so excited to do it. All through the LONG graduation ceremony (the year before was almost three hours someone told me) I was looking up and down the faces of my fellow graduates to get a feel for what was up. I knew a few were ready, but most were crapping their pants just thinking about it. Finally, the moment came. Our principle stood and announced the class of '99 (I graduated a year early.. man did I want to be in the class of 2000!). I strode triumphantly down the isle. I glanced around but no hats. So, I seized the moment, grabbed my perfectly shaped hat and tossed it into the hair letting out a nice loud yell! Surprisingly, the other graduates did also and the families cheered as we strolled along! It was awesome. Everyone loved it.. great idea. The next year, I heard, all the grads took sunglasses out of their gowns and put them on to walk down the isle. I'm so proud. I'll never forget that.

-BRiAN

finally.. something right...

    The ban on partial birth abortion has been passed. YES!

-BRiAN

life... and love... and... SCHOOOL!!

   I want to be a filmmaker. I want to direct movies. I don't want to make movies to be famous, or rich, or popular. I want to make films to inspire and inspire. The idea of sitting behind a Panavision Panaflex 35mm film camera makes my blood boil! To see the lighting, composition, texture all come to love and to tell a story is so awesome. It's also around $30,000 a year. Brooks Institute costs around $30,000 a year (baseline). I've run the FAFSA and looked into scholarships. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any scholarships. No word on the FAFSA. I'm also looking at Full Sail as a school. Full Sail looks very promising as a technical school, Brooks like very promising as an artistic school. See, here's the cool thing. At Brooks your homework is to make movies. Again.. your HOMEWORK is to make movies!! To shoot films! How awesome is that! To shoot films with other people who love to make movies! So sweet! I'm working on a movie with a friend of mine right now. It's called "The Lackey Movie", the only problem we have is money. We need money for equipment. We have actors, a script, locations, wardrobe etc.. just no camera. It's ok though, it'll happen.

One route I've looked at is the military. Then I stopped looking at that route.

    I want to be a musician. I'm in a band called "Two Or Three". I play drums, Josh plays guitar and does lead vocals, John plays bass and backup and Ben plays keys. And overall I would have to say that our music rocks. Like, I really do enjoy playing our music. I tease Josh sometimes because we'll start rehearsal and he'll say "I wrote another song last night". He writes songs like everyday. Which is cool, but I have a hard time learning our songs in the first place. No worries, though we have print outs of our music for me to study now. Anyway, we'll be recording a new CD soon and I'll put some tracks up. At this point, I think our music is good enough to tour with. It's not about being on stage, or the cheering crowd, the opportunity for ministry is so incredible. Honestly, with being a musician (that people like) there comes a certain amount of power(?). People will come to listen to you, and you can tell them about the gospel! SWEET! Plus, I could hang out with my best buddies and play really awesome music.
    A little over a year ago, I got on my knees told God that I was ready to give him my life and use my talents. I wanted to be a pastor, I wanted to play music, I wanted to be a director and I wanted to do it NOW hehe. The next day, I got a phone call about Action House. A ministry does spreads the gospel using music, drama, and a television program, oh yeah.. they do missions trips to. Praise God!

I want to be a filmmaker, I want to be a musician. Time to get in my knees. -BRiAN

To my future wife: One day, we'll be sitting in a restaurant with some friends over coffee and they'll ask us, "How long have you two been together?" And on that day, or any other day we're asked that question, I promise I'll never say "Too long." Because I've lived too long without you.

I don't want to be forgotten, but I don't want to be remebered this way I don't want to be forsaken, but I can't find the will to stay I don't want this bondage, but I just can't get far enough away Freedom, my soul longs for sweet freedom My eyes need this holiness But my sin is my kingdom Release me Lord from myself Release me Lord from my sin I release me Lord to you again You don't want this life for me You can't keep this life from me I won't let you set me free Since the beginning of time We can't be torn in three But your grace sets my feet from earth Your prize for this race, rebirth And now my eyes can see The life that you offer me And.. Freedom

the urge to I saw "Murder In The Wings" today. It's play put on by the local Christian school. I really enjoyed it. And although it sounds like a scary, it was a comedy and I laughed way out loud a few times. Watching the play again makes me want get right back into theater. I want to get up on that stage and rock the planet! I love the hot lights beaming down, the sound of the audience breathing, and the rush of live theater. Here's the tragic part, I don't have the time!! In fact, I'm going to be looking for a second job. My current job can't support me while I'm living on my own. So sad! Hopefully I'll be able to land something like hosting at another resturant. The best of the best would be if I could waiter. Waiter? Waitering.. if I could be waitering? How do you use that word properly... anyway. I'd like to start doing something creative again. Recently, I decided stuff looked much cooler if you burnt the edges of whatever it was. And I was right, they do! I got a new haircut. A bold new step for mekind. -BRiAN

I blinked as a drop of sweat blurred my vision. The sound of the officers voice still was ringing in my ears. My head was swimming. All my sense were muddled. The bitter smell of blood in my nostrils, Steven's wrinkled and writhing face danced in my vision and the taste of warm, salty sweat filled my mouth. "I didn't mean for this to happen." Steven said, as he sat down at the end of table. "I mean, everything just seems so impossible. School is so hard and my Dad is always on my case!" "Steven, please... listen to me, the police are here now, why don't you just let us go and everything will be ok." Mr. Patterson said. "Come on, Steve, he's right. You're right man, everything does seem impossible. But if you just set that thing down and let us walk out the door it'll be ok. No one has to get hurt. I'll even help you with your school stuff." I said, leaning forward. Steven looked up at me, I could tell he was tired. His eyes stared blankly into mine. His face a mix of tears and sweat. "I just don't think I can do this. There's no way man. It's true, I'll never amount to anything. After today nothing will be the same, just worse." Steven took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "Maybe you're right, though. All I need is a little bit of help, right? Some tutoring or something. I could get another home, you know? A nice home, bro.. Things could be better for me." "Steven..." the megaphone blasted from the outside. Steven jerked up and covered his ears. His eyes went wild. "Steven, please listen to me. There is no way you're getting out of the cafeteria. You need to let the people inside go. Just set down your weapon and we'll talk this over. We can talk this out." It clicked off again, the last few words echoing in the room. The gun leapt around in Stevens hand. He cocked it back, loading a round. Standing, he pointed it at Mr. Patterson. "Steven no!" I shouted and began to stand. Steven grunted and shoved me back into my seat. "Don't move, Dave! Just sit there." He turned his head toward the cafeteria doors, still pointing the gun at Mr. Patterson. "No way, man! I'm not coming out of here! I'm tired of all of this! Don't tell me what I can and can't do!! This is the last time I get pushed over or ran around! You hear me?!" Steven snapped his head back to Mr. Patterson. His face twisted as he curled back his lips and squinted his eyes. Shaking, he stood there staring at Mr. Patterson. It was like everything just stopped. I could hear the sirens and people murmuring and crying outside. Faint, distant, in the back of my mind. The lights around me seemed to wash out. My hands felt cold on the bumpy, orange plastic chair. Like a bug on a windshield I was unable to let go of my chair. I looked at Mr. Patterson. His face was all scrunched up as Steven aimed straight at his head. His hands were in front of his face like a child about to be doused in water. He fell backwards in his chair. His hands flapped as they landed on the floor. I couldn't hear anything, I could only see his head slam back onto the hard white and green tile floor. The shell casing fall and bounce like a gymnast on a tumbling mat. His blood started to seep into his jacket and hair. I looked up at Steven crying as he held the gun to his side. The barrel smoked and caressed his arm. Reality hit me. The doors of the cafeteria flew open as the SWAT team burst in the room. They stopped and crouched at the entrance, little red lights danced on Stevens back. "Drop the gun and put your hands on your head! Do it now! Drop that gun right now!" They're muffled voices shouted from behind their masks. I dropped to the floor and looked up. Steven just stood there, facing the wall, not moving. They continued to shout orders at him until he began to turn around. He turned slower than I have ever seen anyone turn. His arms swung at his sides and his head hung down. "Now set the gun down! Just put it on the floor and put your hands on your head." Steven looked up at the officers. He lifted the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. I watched his legs buckle and his body drop next to mine as I screamed out. Another shell casing landed with a clink. The smoke from the gun drifted into my face as I stared into the eyes of my friend who couldn't take it anymore. The end.

I wish your air....... breathe me

I WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS AND A DODGERS GAME! Pictures coming soon!

i love the fashion industry     More t-shirt irony.I just turned on COPS. I'm welcomed to the show with the shot of a big red ghetto car. I hear dogs barking, there are about six cops around with attack dogs. "Get out of the car." the cop says.     A woman steps out with grey shorts and socks. She's wearing a Harvard shirt. A HARVARD SHIRT. HAR.....VARD. Apparently there was a robbery, she was driving. Something about a crack house. A HARDVARD SHIRT. Bring it on, t-shirt makers of the world! -BRiAN

irony, sweet irony     So, I saw the funniest thing today walking out of Dennys. A man, with headphones hanging around his neck, a nasty 'ol hat, sweat pants, a plaid wool shirt unbuttoned, and finally his stomach hanging out of the bottom of his "Gap Athletic" shirt. -BRiAN

Steven's gun was waving between the two of our faces. Not really pointing anywhere, it warbled in his shaking hands. He spoke to us but the words didn't make any sense. I could see him losing control. He cocked back the hammer, I closed my eyes. Everything echoed around me. My hands, legs, body unable to move, like a heavy weight all over me. I could hear our principle crying next to me and Steven shouting. CRACK! My sense came tumbling back into me. I opened my eyes as Mr. Paterson's head landed on my shoulder, the blood from his mouth sliding down my shirt. He sat up, eyes wild and rolling. "I skipped one class, just one Mr. Patterson! It's not like I was going to pass math anyway! It's not like I was ever good in the subject, all the teachers made fun of me and you knew it! Everyone did!" Steven said. His arms hung at his sides, his breathing slowed. Quickly, he grabbed a seat and spun it around, he sat facing us, his hands draped over the back of the chair. Steven stared, unblinking. "Remember my brother Chad? Remember how he used to skip school with us, David? We would goto the creek and smoke just because we could. Or we'd grab a burger and talk about how stupid the other kids were for staying in school." Steven laughed hollowly and shifted his gaze past me. "I haven't seen him in over 2 years. Dad sent him away to a 'correctional school'. Two years, David! He still has two more to go." Steven raised his gun and scratched his cheek with it. The metal scraped along his teenage goatee. I spoke softly. "Steven, why are you doing all this? Mr. Paterson can't bring back your brother, or make your Dad change. He hasn't done anything to you!" Steven glared at me, his lip beginning to curl. "You're wrong, Dave! You're wrong! Do you know what he did this Wednesday? Do you know why I haven't been at school? Haven't been returning your calls or coming over?" Steven prodded Mr. Paterson with his gun barrel. Mr. Paterson looked flinched and looked up. "I'm not going to tell him, I think you should. Go ahead, tell him what you did!" Steven said. Mr. Paterson's eyes slowly slid to me. His faced was red and puffy. "I gave Steven a suspension." he said, his voice weak and wavering. Steven hit him in the head, lurching him forward. "Tell him why, Mr. Paterson!" Mr. Paterson winched. He slowly rose. "He skipped his math class for the third time this week." Just then sirens sounded. I could hear people marching up to the cafeteria doors. The sound of boots and straps. A voice echoed over a megaphone. "Steven, this is captain Williams, let the people inside go. We're not going to hurt you. Send the people in the cafeteria with you out and we can talk." The megaphone clicked off.

I could see the sweat on his forehead. I shifted my stare to the gun barrel, shaking steadily in his vice like hands. My heart felt like it was beating through my shirt. Like it was going to pop out and land in front of me. For a moment we both stood and stared at each other. I started to speak but Steven cut me off. "What do you think you're doing here?! I mean, you're not supposed to be here! This isn't about you. Grab that chair!" he said, motioning with his gun. "Sit down and don't say anything!" Slowly, I reached for the chair, then I froze again. The man sitting in front of me was in a tweed suit, the hair on his balding head was a mess. His tie was loosened around his white shirt which had a few buttons undone. It was our principle. "Mr. Paterson?" I said, almost forgetting where I was. He looked up, tears streaming down his face. He said nothing, just looked at me behind glass eyes and dropped his head to his hands again, sobbing gently. I took off my backpack and sat next to him.

"He has a gun! He has gun!" Yelled a 7th grader as they ran out of the cafeteria doors, almost knocking me down.     Reaching for the already swinging double door, I pulled it open a little and put my eye up to the crack. The cafeteria seemed totally normal, except for a few trays on the floor and a couple of chairs knocked over. Opening the door a little more, I slid my head inside carefully and looked around. I scanned the brown tables, peered through the finger smudged glass where the food workers stand, but still didn't see what the commotion was about. Then I whipped my head around as I heard a chair screeching across the white and green tiled floor. It was Steven, the kid who sat next to me in my math class. It had to be, he always wore a denim jacket and had brown bowl cut hair. I almost opened my mouth to get his attention before he started screaming at someone I couldn't see. "Do you know how much trouble you've gotten me into?! My Dad said 'If you screw up one more time I'll send you to one of those damn schools that deal with kids like you'." Steven screamed, his voice cracking. "Steven, please listen, just sit down and lets talk about this before you do anything rash." said an older mans voice slowly and quietly. "Shut up! Don't even try to talk to me right now, just listen! You have no idea what goes in in my life." Steven said between sobs.     I had to do something. Steven always came over to my house, he had to listen to me. I dropped to my knees and began crawling along side one of the tables. Quickly, I slipped across the way to the other row and stopped at leaned up against the bottom of the food line. I still heard Steven screaming and this other man quietly asking him to calm down. Then I heard something metallic land on a table and the man's voice begin to tremble and plea. My heart began to race as I crawled to the end of the rows of tables. Slowly placing my hands on the edge of a table, I lifted my head up just enough to see what was going on across from me. As my eyes passed the ledge, they focused on the barrel of a gun right in front of my face. "Oh my God." I whispered under my breath. But it was enough.     Steven spun around, his stared at my briefly with wild eyes, his lips curling back. He grabbed for the gun and I lept, my back slamming into the metal food line station. "What do you think you're doing here?!" He screamed. "I do.. plea...." I stammered, the words not able to pass my lips. He clicked the hammer back and my heart stopped. His face was like stone, "Stand up." he said, his eyes shining wildly. Slowly, I put my hands up and stood. Inspiration More to come

and the beat goes on...

    Full sail sent me their schools information packet the other day and it came in the mail! They're in Florida and they have a fab-o fantastic-o wonderful-o(?) film cirriculum. Hopefully, I'll be able to visit in May. So they raised my wages at Players! That's good..

    eSomeday, I may be a filmmaker and that would be awesome.

-BRiAN

pity for the cows

    It rained today! Only for a short time, but it was good hard rain. I drove over to Alicia's house to pickup a costume for the birthday party I'm going to on Saturday. We're going to get in a limo and everything. On the way to Alicia's there is a pasture where a bunch of cows are, and it got me thinking. I feel bad for the poor cows. If it rains, they can't go inside and have a cup of hot chocolate. If it's really hot, the only thing they can do is try to find some shade. They do have it pretty easy overall, though. Walking around, munching on tasty, crisp grass. While we miserable humans run around all day just keep grass in our mouths. I don't care if we kill cows to eat 'em, but they shouldn't have to stand out in the rain.

-BRiAN

when blue people sing

    So, I'm watching the fifth element. I just saw the scene where the blue diva girl sings. So awesome! I know it's fake, but she sings so awesome, if you can you should download the diva techno mix it's so sweet. One thing I really dig about Bruce Willis is that in his movies the dude gets totally messed up. for instance:

Die Hard


Die Hard II


Die Hard, With A Vengance

And finally,

Me.

Face it, the man is TOUGH.

-BRiAN

send in the (evil) clowns

For all you clown lovers: http://www.scottsmind.com/evil_clown.php

-BRiAN

the choice is yours (aka: things i come up with while getting silverware at work)

    If you could have a swimming pool full of anything, what would it be?

-BRiAN

neck be gone

    Update! After two days my neck has returned to normal. The same thing happened that I blogged about last time. Werid. It really really hurt. The full story, coming soon.

-BRiAN

nooooooooooooooo, please nooooooooo

    It's all over folks! We might as well blow everything up. Game over, no more quarters. Society has hit an all time LOW. I just saw a commercial for a reality T.V. show called "Mr. Personality". Here's what it is. A girl meets 20 guys with these funky latex masks on. She goes out with them and gets to know them just on their personality. So far, so stupid. Here's where things get really bad. Monica Lewinsky is hosting the show. NOOOOO! Why, in this country do we make celebrities out of adulterers? WHY?! I know they deserve a second chance and we all sin, but don't celebrate it!

    Also, the "Married By America" couples are getting married. Someone says "no" at the altar (big surprise). These realty T.V. shows are starting to drive me nuts. I don't like them anymore. Bad.

-BRiAN

I don't know why I'm doing this. But I recorded this on Jeff's laptop to put in a CD for a good friend of mine who left to go back home. It's Simon and Garfunkel's song: "For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her" It's one of the first songs I ever learned of theirs and one of the first songs I ever learned on my guitar. So, I've been singing it for about six years.. and it still sounds like this ;). Anyway, if you want to hear it, right click here and select "Save Target As"

Remember, this was recorded on Jeff's laptop with just this laptop mic that is built INTO the laptop. I added a VERY slight echo and that was it. Enjoy!

-BRiAN (and Garfunkel)

chasing the blue ball

    I had an acting coach in L.A., Clay Banks. As part of our acting training, Clay would have use perform certain activities to expand our awareness and become better actors. I'd like to share these with you so that you may expand you awareness and become a better person.
    We take everyday senses for granted. The sense of sight, smell, taste, sound, touch. Our bodies have become so accustom to them (unless you're blind, in which case I'd be amazed since you're reading this.) Something I like to do is start to experience one of my five senses again. This week, I'd like you to try this exercise. Grab your favorite soft drink (I find it works best with Coca Cola, you'll see why). If you don't drink soda, try something with carbonation, ya know.. fizzy. If you don't like fizzy stuff, then forget about it. The next time you decide to suck down the soda of your choice imagine this. You crack open the can.. close your eyes and focus on the feelings that come about. The wind on your face, the cold can against your warm fingers. The sound of the soda fizzing just below your chin. Now, open your mouth and pour some soda in. Before you swallow, before you do anything, stop and experience the sensation of the fizz popping and burning your tongue. Taste the different flavors in the soda and let it wash around in your mouth. Really take that moment in. Now swallow and relish the burning down your throat and the watering in your eyes. And just like that, poof, you've done it! You've had an experience! Lemme know how it goes.

    So Jeff and I went to the gym again today. Actually, let me back up. We went to the store yesterday and bought a whole cartload of healthy food. Our mothers would be so proud. It only took them twenty some odd years to get their boys to eat right. If you were a passer by in the store you might have seen chicken, whole wheat bread, low fat milk, low fat yogurt, orange juice etc etc.. Good stuff. I just want to say how thankful I am that Jeff said chunky peanut butter is OK on the list. Thank God for the Earl of Peanut. Moving on. I'm glad to say that eating healthy can be really ok! It's not a life filled with nasty food that tastes like cardboard. Luckily, Jeff and I like to cook so it's all good. Meanwhile, back at the gym.
    We did the abs and cardio work today. Some people hate doing ab workouts, I love 'em. I love standing up after finishing the workout set and feeling my stomach all tight. It's like it's all clenched up. I like doing crunches and feeling my abs burn and looking at my face all scrunched up. It's like music to my ears when my body lets off an unauthorized grunt. I also dig the sweat. There are a few kinds of sweat:

- Lazy back-of-your-shirt-in-the-car sweat
- At work self-conscious sweat
- Hard work don't-wanna-be-here sweat
- First date sweat
(the worst of the worst, a.k.a. "If nervous was a bodily function, it would be this sweat" sweat.)
- Caught in a lie sweat (you know what I mean)

And finally:
- Beaded, soothing, rolls slowly down the sides of your face, workout sweat.

    I dig on the last kind of sweat, big time. I'm starting to enjoy going to the gym. I find myself bummed because I missed a day. What's really got my knickers in a happy twist is that the gym has two racquetball courts! I haven't played in like 4 years and I LOVE the game! So, for our 25-30 min cardio workout section, Jeff and I decided to play racquetball, which mad me so happy because I've wanted to play racquetball with Jeff since we moved out. Unfortunately, the final count was one to three in Jeff's favor. I'll live. Speaking of increasing your awareness, racquetball makes everything else seem so benign. I mean, I got in my car right after my game and driving seemed like a weird slow-motion thing. Nothing seemed real.. I guess it was the workout euphoria. Whatever it is, chasing the blue ball really did the trick.

-BRiAN

lackey movie update

    Justin and I just finished working with our storyboard artist, Maggie, on the "Lackey Movie". We finished scene one tonight, Maggie had to leave because she was WAY tired. I am so impressed on how this girl works. She's so talented. I'm getting excited because when we get the first three scenes storyboarded we can start fundraising. I'll upload some pics of what we've done, when I can.

-BRiAN

workin' on the solution

Update... dishes done. Praise God. Stinky sink, my redemption.

-BRiAN

my problem

    So, I found out what my problem is. It's downtime. The time that I have where I really don't have any plans or important things to do. There are always things to do. For example, I have a sink and counter full of dishes behind me, a living room that's messy, my room that has more clothes than carpet, and a car that could use a wash. Instead of spending my "free time" drawing closer to God, or doing my chores I spend it in stupid or sinful ways. I realized this while going to the bathroom.. I realize a lot of things in the bathroom. I was there and thinking to myself:

"After this shower, I really don't have anything to do."

It's not really that there is a lack of things to do, it's a lack of things I want to do. This area of my life is driving me nuts. The more I think about it the more frustrated I get with myself. Frustrated with my lack of motivation, responsibility, and maturity. It's true that when you have learned to take care of your things God grants you greater things to take care of because you have been a good steward of what He has given you. Awesome thought if it's put into proper practice. So I'm gonna finish this now and go do some things that need to be done for the sake of doing them. The importance of a bathroom in a persons house is vastly overlooked.

-BRiAN

yet another person that is "offended"

    So I'm watching CNN. They did a report not in Iraq.. it was here in the USA. If you're not familiar about what's going on, people are putting up yellow ribbons to remember the fallen, lost, and serving. Many of these people are related to, or know who that ribbon is for. A man in some small town somewhere in the U.S. is "offended" by the ribbons and is upset they are breaking some kind of city code. He says he will form a group to put a stop to the ribbons. I just had to share this because it is so STUPID. Granted, the guy has the right to be offended by the ribbons. The guy has the right to form a committee. But in doing these things we have to see that he is infringing on the rights of other people.. because of he is offended by yellow ribbons. I can't express enough how lame this really is. For me, this is another example of how people's personal convictions and offenses can royally mess up or limit others. As Christians, we are to be at peace with one another, we are to not cause one another to stumble, and we are to consider others better than ourselves. Unfortunately, some of our brothers and sisters think this means they can impose their will upon other brothers and sisters. I think these things to both ways. I think we should show love to one another. That to me means that if you see a brother or sister doing something that offends you, show some love. Don't just walk up or say

"That offends me, you should stop."

"Don't you think you shouldn't be doing that?"

How about instead:

"Could I talk with you for a second? Just a minute ago, you were . And I wanted to let you know that when you do that it offends me because . I think think you're a bad person or anything and you don't have to stop but please don't do it around me because it makes me uncomfortable."

    Quick breakdown. Talking with someone like this isn't confrontational, it's conversational. Also, if you can't tell them the reason it bothers you, just don't say anything. Because someone can't give a reason for an offense, it's time for them to re-evaluate. Also, be open to hearing their side of the story before making any assumptions. Always wait to hear their side always always! So important.

    Why the previous examples specifically? Because I think they point out how judgmental they sound. Seriously, that's what it comes down to being judgmental. Imposing your judgment upon someone because of an action they are doing. There are, again, of course situations where some things are just wrong. I'm talking about common sense. What's a personal conviction to me? A personal conviction is something that someone believes that is not necessarily bottom line truth. Example, girls should only wear dresses, men shouldn't have long hair, certain beats in music are "evil", certain types of music are "evil", and the list goes on. I hope you get my drift. It just drives me nuts. I'm trying to show and feel the love, I really am, but it's hard. More to come.

-BRiAN

gym in greek means hell

    Although my legs are feeling better, the pain remains!! AHH! I'll live. I feel bad because I didn't goto Youth Group on Wednesday, my legs just hurt too much. Unfortunatley, my church has decided to kick me out. So I'm going to put puppies in the church overnight. Just kidding.

    Still loving working at Players. What's really interesting is picking up lines in people's conversation.

"Of course you love him, he's your father."

"Well, maybe you should get a real job"

"That new host guy is weird.. I mean really wierd."

    So, pretty much my life right now, Players, working out, CNN and the War in Iraq. I need to get back with God. I just realized that. I'll start tonight.

-BRiAN

i threw up today.

    Jeff and I are doing a three month workout/diet program that he found in his "Muscle and Fitness" magazine. I am so stoked about it. It's not that I'm obese or anything, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for this kid to lose a few pounds and tone up. We went "Champions gym" around 11:30 this morning and got started. I stretched then got warmed up on the treadmill. I love running and was pretty surprised how much I enjoyed the treadmill as opposed to running outside. I do miss the beauty of the lake, though. From there I went to the free weights. This first week I'm working on my lower body I guess. Well, not quite a guess, I'm quite sure of it. I have no doubt that tomorrow I'll be like a puddle of goo sliding out of bed. I don't think I'll ever be able to use my legs again. .... and the Oscar goes to ....

    For breakfast I had oatmeal, banana and orange juice. I was reminded of this because it ended up all over the bathroom mirror and sink. Gross? Yeah, tell me about it. There's nothing like sitting in the leg extension machine, your legs aching and your body covered in sweat feeling like you have to puke your guts out. Then I started working out. Just kidding. It is true though that you feel better afterwards. I didn't finish my last two exercises, but tomorrow I will. Until then, here's to clogging the drain!

-BRiAN

This is Carly. Brian has given me permission to blog for him since he hasn't had the time to do so. Right now, he's at Players working. He really loves working there and he tries extraordinarily hard to do a good job. Even with the teasing of the waitresses and the joking around--it's all in effort to make the atmosphere more fun and exciting.

He wanted me to mention Friday, when he taught an "introduction to improvisation" class. Brian told me he loved speaking, but I had no idea how much or how awesome he is at it. He taught two one-hour sessions and the kids simply adored him. He talked about the basics of improvisation and he had the high schoolers play very entertaining games requiring they use their "creative juices". While several of the kids were outgoing and prepared to make fools of themselves in front of others, I believe there were others who weren't comfortable doing any such thing. Brian was fully prepared to call on those few and force them into the spotlight, where he knew they would feel uncomfortable. Hwoever, after they were shoved into the center of everyone's eye, they soon realized how fun it could be and how not embarrassed they should feel. I kid you not. I was blown away by the entire presentation he gave.

Brian talked about having the "funny gene" and how some people just don't got it.

"When people are born, there's a switch or something," he said as he motioned with his hands the flipping of an imaginary switch. "It gets turned on or off. Just like so. You've either got it or you don't."

I can tell you that not only is Brian's "switch" turned on, but it's a flipping lever that has to be pushed up with both hands! The guy has got the "funny gene" and then some. Brian also explained how improvisation doesn't always have to be funny, either, for those folks who have the funny switched turned off. Basically, his entire instruction was totally encouraging, intoxicating, and I'm sure very contagious. Anyone who has never experienced drama or improvisation before could be around Brian for about ten minutes and want to run out and immediately start performing for anyone willing to watch.

I'm not sure if I should mention much of anything else, let alone this last bit of information. Basically, after I leave for home, Brian and his roommate Jeff are going to participate in a 12 week (at least, that's how long I think it is) program that involves a special diet and work-out routine that will make him and Jeff both "buff" by the end of the course. Honestly, both these kids are very much healthy and well structured already. Neither of them really need to do the program or get "buff" because they both look great already. I'm not just saying that, either. It's the honest truth. However, I'm not going to dissuade them from wanting to do something that'll make them feel better about their health, about their mentality, and about themselves in general.

Brian took his guitar to work tonight. I wonder if he actually decided to break it out and serenade any of the customers. He probably came up with an even better use for it. I can only imagine what. I suppose he'll have to tell you.

Until later. Enjoy this blog composed not of Brian. Oh yes, and allow me to provide this shallow plug for myself.

jeffersonair.

"Vain... So vain."

So, good day at work!! Man.. I really enjoy thinking up things to throw off the waitresses and change up their day. For example, I told about 6 tables in a waitresses section that it was her birthday. It wasn't, of course, but she got told about 15 times "Happy Birthday!" Another girl was told "Congratulations on your wedding!" Oh man. It was awesome. The waitresses loved it.
Jeff, my roommate, told me today that a customer had complained. Don't worry! It was stupid, I swear! Here's what happened. I told him that his waitress "Was the best five star French waitress in all of France." Obviously, so not the case. She's Latin. Anyway.. he told her this (I swear these were his exact words):

"You should tell the host that he really should not tell people you're from France, 'cause we're not having very good relations with them right now."

When.. if ever.. have American's LIKED THE FRENCH?! We renamed our fries for goodness sakes. FRIES! These are little pieces of potatoes fried in FAT and we renamed them because "we weren't having good relations." Sure, we helped them in World War II, but that's because we're America and we rock. I will give the French this though, the Statue of Liberty was a pretty nice thing to give :). She's cute. *pets his statue of liberty*. Anyway. So there was that and I just shook my head and thought,
"Of all things to 'warn' against... it's 'stay away from the French waitress' thing."
I could understand if I had said:
"This is I-wanna-be-servin, you're waitress from Afghanistan." or,
"You're regular waitress, Jessica, won't be in but we have this really amazing terrorist who will be boarding your table and taking it over with a nail file."

Oh no, Brian! Don't pick on people from Afghanistan! Don't stereotype! Sorry folks, but that country just doesn't leave a good taste in your mouth right now. I don't have anything against anybody. I have friends that are black, white, brown, blue, salmon, and that weird color that shows up when you turn your eyes really far left or really far right. I'm down with people from all over. So there's that.

-BRiAN

Carol.. her name is Carol..

So, I'm watching the war in Iraq on CNN. Now, this is not a war blog, it's war reporter blog. This is what drives me nuts. The news reporters drive me crazy. There's this only lady, who has to say the most obvious things. She needs to be just smacked around. For example:
We see tanks running along the road.
"Here we see British troops traveling to Basara." She chirps
Children across the street as the tanks cross.
"And we can see here that children are running across the road in front of coalition tanks".
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! For some reason, she thinks because she uses the word "coalition" that this takes away from the fact she just told us we saw those children, when obviously they ARE DOING JUST THAT.

Bottom line, I wanna see stuff blowing up.

-BRiAN

So, today. Work and youth group. That's just about it. More to come.. I've been so busy I haven't been able to write. It's driving me nuts.

-BRiAN

DEE DAH DEE DEE *ticker-tape noise* TICKADA TICKADA TICKADA...

THIS JUST IN

Digital Ink has just released a NEW section on it's website! The new section, called "Interactive", will have content that is... well.. interactive! Check it out today! If you have any suggestions or ideas e-mail them to me.

-BRiAN

    Ok, one more day of work down! WOO! So, I had a great idea for the waitresses. Ready for this madness? Super. I would tell the guests that their waitress was from (depending on the waitress) one of the following countries : Spain, Britain, Australia, and Switzerland. The reason for this? I'll tell you. My schpeel to the guests was that they were five star waitresses that had flown in to visit the Central Coast and check out Players restaurant.

"You are so lucky tonight, not only do you have the best table in the restaurant, but we also have a waitress from (insert country here) tonight! She's been assigned to your table so you'll be having a five star dining experience!" I gleefully announce

"Well.. that's nice." They say with a tinge of nervous skepticism.

   Atascadero has no sense of culture.. geeze. Anywho, apparently this helped the waitresses get major tips. I don't really care about that though, I wanted them to have a break from the everyday work experience. I really want to help create a positive, fun, working environment. How you may ask? Simple, by staying calm and genuinely kind. Is that so bad?! HUH?! PUNK! Like that.

   One last thing. As a host you don't get tipped by the actual guests, the waitresses tip you. Before I go any further, to the best of my knowledge there are no waiters at the restaurant.. thus the ever present "waitresses". Moving on. The waitresses tip you. So I'm not sure how to deal with this. I get tipped as I leave for the night and I'm supposed to announce that I'm leaving and expect the waitresses to flock around and hand me gobs of money. To be honest, I'm not particularly fond of this idea because they work their butts of. Granted, I do too.. but I don't expect to be replayed for the work I do for them. On the other hand, I don't mind it and understand why they do. I mean, the host seats the people in an orderly way as to allow the servers (servers is a much more encompassing word I think) allow the serves to pace their evening while still receiving a good flow of customers. So that makes sense. Overall, this is my attitude is this when I come in.

"Expect nothing, and leave happy."

Now that I think about it.. hosting is just pimpin' it. Sweet.

-BRiAN

3:30... can't sleep. Gah. I finished my second day at Players toda... uh, yesterday. I am LOVING working at this job! Sure, the people can be spastic a times (I only say that because I don't buckle under pressure). All in all, I love my job so far. I don't think I'll be posting about the people or really much of the events at work. The reason being, I don't want to offend or anger any of my co-workers. People take things the wrong way face to face at times.. imagine what they would do reading about something on someone's BLOG. Anyway, it's 3:30.. I'm tired and so excited at the same time. Carly is coming to visit and my friends and I have planned such an amazing adventure for her at the railroad station. Hopefully someone will video tape it so I can post the video for you all to see. Who is you all anyway? Doesn't matter.. I really want to write so I can remember things about.. oh lets say a day after I write them ;).

-BRiAN

Rosebud... rooooooosssseeeeebbbbuuuuuuuuuuud.

My list of "ists".

    I'm a realist. I'm an idealist. I'm also a fundamentalist. Allow me to explain this list of "ists". First of all, realism. Here's what I recently discovered about myself while having a conversation at "In-N-Out". When I comes down to it, I like to call it as it is. For example, if someone is upset with me or there is some kind of tension and I recognize it, I'll take the step and say right out "Hey, what's up with this tension?" I honestly want to know! I mean, if someone is upset with you and you're not talking about it, that's MADDNESS! Seriously, people, stop assuming everything and start asking.
Which brings up the concept of assumption. To be more specific though, to presume. This, right now is the #1 thing that drives me up the wall. There are several types of presumptions. Presuming the worst, Presuming the best, and just plain presuming. I wanna talk about what it means to presume the worst, I'll use myself as an example. I've found lately that people presume the worst of me. For example, a friend of mine had their sweater around the top of their body, but not over their head. You know, like it's around their arms and chest but not their neck and head. She had her hands all pressed up against her neck and was lookin' all cute. So I walked up to her and pressed my hands against my neck like she was. Now, looking back she may have just been messing with me, but she looked at me like I was making fun of her. Before I go any further, this girl is a total sweetheart and wouldn't do anything mean to a soul, she just happened to jog my mind and provide a good example. What I came to realize is that many people simply presume the worst of a situation rather than the best. Instead of frowning, she could have just grinned and presumed I was making a pleasant gesture. Take any example! To presume that the person is making an unpleasant gesture is just a sad way to live!
There are, of course, times when someone really is just trying to be mean. I expect that any normal person would be able to pick up on these instances. I'm talking about times when there is no malice involved, just good 'ol playing around. This concept could even be taken to serious applications. For example, if a friend called and said "Hey, are you going to be home later, because I want to talk with you." Some people would presume the worst. Now, before I go on I know there can be millions of variables here in a friendship. Lets say that this friendship is currently at a non-drama state and as far as you know things are cool. So, what would you do? Would you presume that your friend has a bone to pick with you? Or would you presume that they just want to talk and that's it. You'd be surprised at how many people presume the worst!

Bottom line, I like to say it how it is. If I have a problem with someone, I'll let them know. Not like "Hey, I've got a problem with you so get over here!" But like "Hey, what's up with us? What's goin' on? Do you wanna talk with me about something?" Yeah.. like that :). Don't presume, don't assume, hope for the best. I think if we look at Jesus' life we can see that he generally had a pretty positive outlook on things. More to come later.

-BRiAN

48 hours
He's not gonna leave..

    So, I'm reading about this "possible" war with Iraq. I'm reading about what Vice President Dick Cheney has to say. What people in London, France, Iraq, Kuwait, and the United States have to say. What Tom Brokaw, Ari Fletcher, Joe John's and others are saying. I'm also reading about the protesters and the supporters. And since I've brought up "religion" in my Blog, here goes politics. First of all, this is where I stand: If my President says we need to go to war, lets go. Will people die in a war? Absolutely. Do people have the right to protest a war? Of course. Here's the thing about protesting a war though, if you're protesting in hopes of "world peace" or "no more war" then you are out of luck. War is inevitable, ongoing, never ending. There will always be war. You may be saying "But it doesn't have to be that way." Yes, it does. That fact of the matter is that there will never stop being war until Jesus comes. There will never be world peace, there will never be total harmony, there will always be the breaking down of society and world politics. Now, to clarify, I'm not a morbid or pessimistic person. "Yeah, Right." you say, but I'm not. I believe people can live at peace with one another, but I don't believe that there will be peace throughout the world.

    There are a few things I wish I was doing right now about the war.

#1: Staging Anti-Anti-War protests.
I would love to stage a Anti-anti-war protest simply because it's a minority thing to do. Plus, I think that people are just going with the flow and not really thinking on their own. I know this because I've talked with a few people who simply have no real idea about what is going on. Usually our conversations end with "Yeah, whatever we just shouldn't go after Iraq." Which is in part my fault because I'm not explaining my point of view well enough. One common mis-conception is that we're going after oil. I won't even go into that unless you want me to.

#2: Shipping off to Kuwait and get ready to fight
Some might say, "No!" Others might say, "Go for it Brian! We don't want to read your rants anyway!" Regardless, I'd love to ship out and get ready to defend the freedom of my country. Also, I wanna shoot those huge tank killing missile things.

So, however you feel about the "possible" war with Iraq, I encourage you to tune into your news tonight at 5:00 pm to listen to our President address the nation. Because one way or another the way things are going we'll be at war by the end of the week.

-BRiAN

    What an eventful past few days! Beth came by again on Friday to go running. I had gone to bed pretty late and taken some muscle relaxants so my neck wouldn't hurt. I was out like George Bush chasing a midget in a cowboy suit. Needless to say, it took an act of God to wake me up. When Beth came she apparently called my cell, knocked on the windows, lit my bed on fire etc etc. Finally, I mustered enough will power to hoist my coagulated self outta bed. I had an AWESOME time running around the lake!! After the inital pain I really got into a rythm and ran ALL THE WAY AROUND THE LAKE! Woo! Moving on..

    So Jeff hid the digital camera. This allows me to start the "Things I'm Learning About Jeff" list. Number one, Jeff hides something if he doesn't want you to use it. No "Hey, don't use this." He just hides it. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't bother me I think it's awesome. He's not really a confrontational kind of guy and neither am I, so it's all good. Last night Jeff, Chris and I went over to Chris's house for some BBQ and work! We're working on the Central Coast Business Works website. Things are really coming along (however slowly).

     I'll be honest, I'm really starting to realize how much weight is on my shoulders. Last night I was driving home from Chris's house with Jeff and we had a little converstaion:

"I never realized this, but I have so much hanging over my head" I said.

"Yeah." Jeff replied.

"I mean, I have my rent, car payment, broken car, four jobs! I'm only 21! This isn't right" I said.

"Yeah." Jeff relplied.

    What would I do without the guy. As I went to sleep, I had this overwhelming panicky feeling. I don't know if this happens to you, but last night I was laying in bed and I realized my face was totally tense. The eyebrows were scrunched together, my nose was wrinkled up, my cheeks were tight. My whole face just hurt. So I relaxed and a few minutes later the same thing happened. About that time I threw my hands up in the air and just began to pray. I almost wept I was so frustrated and overwhelmed. At one point God just shut me up and I lay there. He really did just shut me up, I was praying and then I just stopped and shut my eyes and began to breathe. I felt my body relax and the arms of God holding me. I was so afraid, but that's because I haven't been resting in his arms for so long. Everything isn't perfect or anything but it's awesome to place your head on the chest of God and rest in His arms.

-BRiAN

Friendship & Love

Friendship says "I'll call you"
Love picks up the phone

Friendship says "I'll be there"
Love shows up

Friendship helps you get out of the car
Love shuts the door

Friendship smiles at you when you pass on the street
Love stops and asks how you are

Friendship rejoyces with you
Love worships with you

There is no greater love than this
That a man lays down his life for his friends.

Houstin, we have liftoff. Today started with a real bang... when I woke up I think I popped something in my neck and now I can barley move. It's like one section of muscles has hardened and stabs my neck when I move. I'll live, I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it! So my car is broken. Poor thing. I think it might be the starter but I'm delaying bringing it into any shop because I can't afford to fix it right now. It's going to be a bit of quandry in the next two weeks or so, we'll see what happens. The great thing about having a jacked up neck is that your mom brings you all kinds of great stuff! Snacks galore and muscle relaxant, who could ask for anything more? Strange things were happening with Jeff last night. I recorded the sequnence of events for your viewing pleasure.
Jeff gets dressed up in his "homey g" outfit
Starts ranting about how we wants to kill the cat, searches about and finnally grabs her. I was hoping he was going to throw her across the room but he didn't.
He got all cute about it instead. Jerk.


I stumbled the other day an outright sinned. I gave into temptaion and I feel awful about it for a few reasons. First of all, God has been so good to me. He's provided a job (which I wasn't sure I was going to get). He's provided food, clothing a place to live, an awesome roommate, and amazing friends. Over the past few days I've been getting back into the swing of things in my relationship with Him. I've been reading my Bible, and getting down on my knees regularly. It's been awesome spending time with God again. Then I stumble. I give right in and I know I'm doing it. The amazing and awesomething about God is that he doesn't take me down right then and there (and he could because he's worthy to). Instead, he shows me mercy, grace, compassion and love. He takes me into his arms, wipes the yuck off and says he knows I'm sorry. Oh to be released from this mortal body! I want to be free from sin so badly! I can't stand giving into temptaion over and over. I can't sleep, I can't pray, I feel so seperated from God during those times. But thanks be to God who sets me free! His love endures forever and his faithfulness is everlasting! I can be from my sin through the power of Jesus Christ! Be encouraged if you are reading this, we serve a God who loves us as we are, but doesn't want us to stay that way. I stumbled the other day and my God still loves me.

-BRiAN

Birds don't chirp, or squak, or peep at 7:00 a.m running around a lake, they laugh. Getting into Beth's car, I was greeted by about 10 of those little dogs with the bobby heads lined up directly in front of me. I actually screamed for a good five seconds. I'm riding in the car, thinking this is going to be soooo good but so bad. I was sweating and heaving and aching, then I stopped stretching and started jogging. Just as we got started I turned to Beth and said "I forgot how much I really miss this." And I do, I miss really started to miss running. I think I'll start going every other day. Around the first bend was an open view of the lake. It was beautiful because the fog was heavy and off to the distance so the lake lookend endless. Little black ducks peppered the surface and coasted about the liquid glass. The temprature was just perfect and there was hardly anyone around. Beth runs a route that's a little different than the one I usally go about and I realized I'm a bit of a habitual person because I nearly had a nervous breakdown as we went along the dirt road instead of going straight after the bridge. I'll be traumatized for months.

One thing I forgot about jogging was the shin problem. For the first few minutes I really thought I would have to stop because my right shin hurt SO bad every other step. I did eventually warm up and stop hurting. Beth was awesome, I'm so proud of that girl. She actually went around two times. Which was a good thing because there was this girl that was running around the lake too and she was pretty cute so I got to see her running around twice. Luckly for us, the killer geese of death aren't around the lake anymore too. My friend Justin and I used to go running alot and actually developed a kind of fear of geese because they are fearless relatively BIG creatures of the lake. The geese don't have a usual sound either, they have a truly angry and malice noise that comes out of them.
"Back off, or I'll take a chunk out of leg!"
I have a feeling geese would be really nasty drivers. Overall, a wonderful jogging experience. Now, I'm going to go back to bed and have nighmares of laughing foul.

-BRiAN